Your Self-Narrative Will Make Or Break You

Photo by Dev Asangbam on Unsplash — If you pointed at yourself, what would you really think of yourself?

In my opinion, this is one of the most underrated aspects of success and self-development.

Your self-narrative means MUCH more than you think it means.

First, for those of you who may not know what I mean by “self-narrative”, allow me to elaborate on this.

Your self-narrative is basically what you think of yourself.

And I mean what you truly think of yourself.

I don’t mean what you like to believe that you think of yourself, it’s all about what your subconscious truly believes about yourself.

It’s really easy to say “I’m super confident” but it’s a quite challenge to actually BE confident and consistently act like it. And that’s because confidence comes from your self-narrative.

Again, what you genuinely believe subconsciously is your self-narrative. ONLY that. Not what you want to believe about yourself and not what your ego tries to have you believe in either.

Let me give you an example.

I work with many clients who need work on their subconscious or on their self-esteem.

One way to work on this is by practicing daily affirmations.

Something that I hear A LOT when people are practicing these affirmations is that their BS meter goes off all the time.

“I’m not sure this can work. When I say out loud “I’m awesome and I love myself” something within me just ticks saying it’s all a lie I’m telling myself.” they tell me.

And it’s that dissonance right there that shows you the major difference between wanting to believe something and actually, truly believing it on a subconscious level.

Right now, you have MANY beliefs interiorized that you’re not even aware of. Most of your insecurities are rooted in those interiorized beliefs.

And THAT is your self-narrative.

This means that if you need to get a promotion, but deep down you don’t believe you deserve it or you even believe you’ll do a terrible job at it, then you probably won’t get it.

This means that if you have a business, but deep down you don’t think it’s going to be successful because you’re not enough to make it successful, then your business will probably fail.

Maybe this idea sounds silly to you, but I see it at work all the time.

The best-case example of this is when it comes to people picking up new habits.

Some people hire me exclusively to be their accountability coach. A lot of them just want to pick up — and stick to — new habits.

It’s always funny to me because in the first few sessions I always try to get a feel for how hard they believe getting a new habit is. Once I do get that feel for that, I can easily predict how hard it will be for the person to actually pick up their new habits and stay consistent with them.

And the prediction is never wrong.

What you believe about yourself is literally a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This is why one of the most important first steps of self-development is to leave behind whatever ideas and beliefs you have about yourself. You must try to accept the notion that who you used to be is behind you and you’re working on becoming someone else.

You’re trying to become someone you’ve never been before, so stop minding your past. That’s irrelevant to the new and different future you’re trying to create for yourself.

The clients that say “I’ve always tried to pick up a new habit, but I know I can’t. I start well but after 3 weeks, I just stop. There’s just something about me that doesn’t allow me to stay committed and consistent” ALWAYS have the hardest time with sticking to new habits.

And they’re technically not wrong, you know? There IS something about them that doesn’t allow them to pull it off:

Their self-narrative.

I’m positive about this because every client who has ever told me it wasn’t that hard to get a new habit was always able to successfully gain new habits. Without much effort too.

And it’s the same with me. Gaining a new habit is easy for me because I believe it to be easy.

It’s really not that hard when you think about it.

A habit is just something you do, repeatedly. That’s it… All you need is to do it.

So, why would it be so hard for people to gain one and stay consistent with it?

There are many factors that make it hard but believing it’s hard is the number one factor.

Hopefully, as you read this article you often thought to yourself “Yeah, it really makes sense when you think about it”.

Because just think about it, if you didn’t believe you could cook dinner, then you wouldn’t. It’s as simple as that.

Whatever you believe in, will be the truth. So you better be careful about your self-limiting beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs are probably the number one crusher of dreams.

If you don’t think you can accomplish something, the odds are that you won’t even try.

So next time you’re trying to be successful at something, remember one thing:

Whether you believe you can do it or not is the best predictor of what will happen.

Never stop hustling & never stop dreaming,

- Dez

P.S. I’m a Success Coach and I’d be happy to help you work on your self-narrative if you think you could use some help! You can check out my official website https://myupself.com/ for more information

P.P.S. You can book a 100% free call with me

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