Why You Can’t Become Who You Want To Be

Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash — It’s funny how we can drive ourselves crazy

The title is a bit overdramatic, but that’s usually how people think about themselves. Human beings love some drama!

The first thing I want to make clear is that you CAN become who you want to be. It absolutely IS possible.

BUT, having said that, most people simply self-sabotage their way out of actually pulling it off.

So, what I really want to talk about here is why YOU specifically seem to be unable to transform into the best version of yourself.

After countless hours talking to countless clients, I’ve learned that most people’s problems lie within their self-narrative.

What do I mean by self-narrative?

I mean the idea you have of yourself.

Who you TRULY, SUBCONSCIOUSLY believe yourself to be is EXACTLY who you will be on a day-to-day basis.

To make my point clear, let me give you an example:

Imagine two 20-year-old brothers called Aiden and Brendan.

Their mother has told them they need to pick up a new daily habit: they need to clean their room at the end of each day.

This isn’t the usual case in which a mother tells her kids to do something they don’t want to do. In this case, both Aiden and Brendan agree with her that they really need to start cleaning their room every day.

The thing is, Aiden believes that he can easily pick up a new habit if he wants to. He simply has great self-discipline and when he wants to start a new habit he thinks to himself “Oh damn, ok. I guess I’m now entering a new reality in which I will do this new thing every day”.

The result? He started doing this new habit and never stopped. Was it easy? No. But because he truly believed himself to be capable to accomplish getting this new habit, he did. As simple as that.

Brendan, however, didn’t think that way. He thought “Damn. I know I need to do this, but this is going to suck. It will be hard to get this new habit… But oh well, I’ll try my best. Hopefully, I’ll do it every day.

Guess what?


Brendan did NOT pick up the new habit.

Are you really surprised? It’s all in the attitude. They both equally dislike cleaning, so it’s really just their minds that differ.

From the beginning Brendan just thought to himself “Geez, I HOPE I can do this. Let’s see what happens”.

This type of mentality will always end up in failure.

When you think like this to yourself, what you’re doing is not holding yourself accountable.

Brendan just ignored the fact that getting this new habit was 100% within his reach and control. All he had to do was do it every single day.

Brendan is in full control of his actions, so there should be absolutely no doubt about the fact that he could’ve done it. Both Brendan and Aiden have the exact same life situation, the only difference here was their mindset.

This works for everything.

Michael Jordan could’ve never become the greatest to ever play basketball if hadn’t believed himself to be exactly that (or at least believe he had the potential to become that). If he just thought he was an average player, he would’ve performed like an average player.

But what does all of this mean to you?

After all, it’s not like reading this article will magically fix all of your problems.

The thing that I want you to get from this article is that you are under no obligation of being who you were 5 minutes ago or a year ago. ZERO OBLIGATION.

That means all you have to do is DECIDE to change. DECIDE to do and be better.

Change won’t happen overnight, but all you need to do is start telling yourself a different self-narrative.

Start telling yourself you’re a winner and you can do anything you set your mind to. You can do this via affirmations or meditation or simply by becoming more aware of how you think of yourself daily.

As long as you stay CONSISTENT, you will change. And you will become a better version of yourself.

It might take 1 month, 6 months, a year… Who knows. But however long it takes shouldn’t affect your decision to change.

As long as you eventually feel that the change happened, then it’s all worth it!

I also advise you to start journaling. That way, you’ll be registering your mindset throughout time and in 6 months you’ll be able to read what you wrote and SEE the progress right before your eyes.

Please just give it a try for at least a year.

You OWE yourself that.

Never stop hustling & never stop dreaming,

- Dez

P.S. I’m a Life & Business Coach and I’d be happy to help you work on improving your mindset and self-narrative if you think you could use some help! You can check out my official website https://myupself.com/ for more information

(P.P.S. You can book a 100% free call with me!)



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